When you are riding a horse you are on this huge scary animal with a mind of its own. For the most part you can tell the horse where you want to go, and what you expect. For the most part the rider is in control, just like in life. Generally you decide where you go, who you interact with- you have control.
But once in a while that horse decides that it is not going to do what you want. As the rider you get frustrated and kick harder, try harder to get that animal back on course but the he is not having it. The horse decides that for a belief moment you aren’t in control anymore, he is going to take off in a gallop and there is nothing you can do about it.
As you start to realize you are using control you decide that you will hold on tight and out ride the horse, this is a bad decision- you regret it. As your legs start to clench tighter and you pull up on the reins, the horse starts bucking and you feel like everything is about to fall apart, but you still hold on. As you get more desperate you start to hold onto things that you know you shouldn’t and this just makes everything even more chaotic.
As the horse bucks harder you realize that you are not going to be able to out ride this animal- you didn’t have a chance once he decided you weren’t in control anymore. And you finally let go.
There is a brief moment of relief that lasts a faction a second before you hit the ground.
You start at your toes, working your way up seeing if anything is broken- nothing is. You get up dust yourself off only to see the horse standing over you making sure you are okay. Thanks horse.
Now you finally experience the fear that you felt while trying to hold on. With shaking hands you tighten the saddle and get back on. Take a couple of deep breaths, get back on, and ask the hose to walk on. The fear never really goes away; it is always there in the back of your mind. But you know when you are back in control, and have that beautiful animal doing everything you ask, there is no greater feeling. The possibility of falling off again is always there but if that is what you focus on you cannot really enjoy the beauty of the next ride.